Welcome to Heather Theory

Cautionary Tales and Safety Strategies

Grug, the cavedad in The Croods, belongs to the “never not be afraid” school of parenting. His cautionary tales are brief and repetitive. Someone tried something new—and they died. His ochre-painted hand slaps the wall to punctuate the story.

Like Grug, we have cautionary tales and safety strategies. We explain setbacks and failures simply: they happened because we’re bad. Because we took a risk–and failed.

But here’s the thing about Grug and us. Blaming ourselves ends the story with a splat, before we can gather our courage, and try again.

We imagine critical monsters outside. “Who do you think you are?” they whisper. “What do you think you have to say?” We feel the flush of shame on our cheeks, before we have even begun. We feel powerless, incapable of leaving the cave and standing in the light.

Emerging from the Cave

Of course in this context I’m talking about expression, about our need to share our thoughts with others—and the fear that silences us.

Lately I’ve been wondering, “What if I were immune to shame? What if I stopped listening to the whispers?” This fledgling courage is emerging from a powerful idea with a big name.

Epistemic sovereignty is the right of an individual to define their own reality, knowledge, and truth. When I write, I am writing truth as I experience it, something only I can articulate. I am describing my reality. I am sharing knowledge as it has been shaped by my mind.

Embracing “Heather Theory”

As a reminder of my epistemic sovereignty, the name of this blog is Heather Theory. The title comes from a disclaimer I use with clients: “This is Heather Theory. Take it with a saltshaker.” It helps me to claim my right to express myself, while also safeguarding my clients’ epistemic sovereignty, their right to define their own reality. This framing frees me to write and to speak, confident that I am the leading Heather expert, just as others are experts about themselves.